The main character of this song careens between the brash self-assurance
of the great Nikki Giovanni poem, "Ego Tripping," and the bumbling
foolishness of the main character in the Woody Allen movie, "Take the Money
and Run."
Circled the globe in my hot air balloon
Recovered six million Spanish doubloons
Phi Beta Kappa & I was just skimming
Won Olympic gold in synchronized swimming
Opened on Broadway to wild acclaim
In the World Series tossed a perfect game
Left J-Lo at the altar high and dry
Parliaments fall at the wink of my eye
But every mornin' when I wake
First thing I see is these same ol' feet of clay
You know, I need mercy a million times a day
Orbited Mars in my private rocket
Survive in the wild better 'n Davy Crockett
Engaged by the Louvre to raise their aesthetic
One on one made Michael Jordan look pathetic
Bounced from Jeopardy-knew every answer
Discovered vaccine to wipe out cancer
By landslide elected commander-in-chief
Even got McDonald's to stop serving beef
But after all the accolades
Come home and slip off my toupee
You know I need mercy a million times a day
Some find me temperamental
Can be mushy & wax sentimental
But if "90% of winning is 3/4 mental"
As Yogi Berra would say
Lord, I need a whole lotta mercy
Won't you hear me when I pray
Taught Betty Crocker to bake cherry pies
In my spare time won the Nobel Peace Prize
Left Cal Ripken's mark in the dust
They even want the buck to say "In Jesse We Trust"
But tired and wired at 4 am
In my clueless insomniac haze
You know I need mercy
From now 'til doomsday
Lord, I need mercy a million times a day
Listen: 
